A Fierce Competitor

In a battle of wills, Maya is one fierce competitor! Case in point: Today, Maya went down for a nap at 12:30pm, woke up at 1:15pm, ate for about 30 minutes, then played for another 20 minutes. Toward the end of play-time, she started getting fussy and fidgety, averting her eyes from pretty much everything and burying her face in my neck. Following HER cues, I took her upstairs to her bedroom and started to rock her a bit to get her settled in to take a nap. She started crying. Now here's where the battle began. I started patting her back while "shushing" her quite loudly to break through the volume of her crying (a la Baby Whisperer-style). No response. She continued to cry, turning her head from side to side, continually knocking her pacifier out of her mouth while she rubbed her face on my shoulder. Knowing in my heart that she was tired, I was determined to get her to relax and take a good long nap. Finally she settled down and became limp in my arms as her breathing slowed to a normal rate and her crying subsided. I held her just a bit longer, then attempted to place her in her crib. She was not having any part of that. She started bawling all over again. So, I shushed her while she laid in her crib. I shushed so fiercely that I started to get light-headed! I picked her back up and sat down (before I passed out!) and began rocking her again. Still she cried. Scratch that. She screamed. Loud. In my ear for several minutes. I thought I was going to lose my mind. I continued to shush and pat and then just pat when I felt like I was going to pass out again from shushing so much. Then I sang, then just hummed. And patted. And shushed. You get the idea... I eventually was able to calm her enough to lay her down again. (see "she was not having any part of that" from above and reread through "you get the idea".)

It's very disheartening when you cannot comfort your own baby. We battled this out for an hour at which point, it had been almost 2 hours since she last ate. Finally, I threw in the towel and fed her. I knew since it was so close to 2 hours, there was no way she was going to fall asleep. Just the energy expelled from fighting so hard must have revved up her appetite. She ate for about 10 minutes, then fell fast asleep. Now you might wonder why I didn't feed her sooner to solve the problem. Here's why: When I was pregnant, I read "The Baby Whisperer" not once, but twice. I really liked her philosophy and approach to handling babies, and I thought that when I had Maya, I would follow her principles and teach Maya to be independent while I created some time for myself in the process. Well, Maya was so good and quite easy to take care of for the first couple of months that I didn't make an effort to do anything from the Baby Whisperer's book. Everything seemed to fall into place. She was easy. I fed her every 3 hours during the day, and she slept for 5-7 hour stretches at night. Admittedly, she didn't nap well, but I just figured that she didn't want to miss out on anything. Plus, she slept pretty well during the night, so what did I care (besides the fact that I never got anything done around the house!)? These last few weeks have changed quite a bit. Maya is now eating every 2 hours during the day, still not napping, and starting to be more difficult to put to sleep anytime, day or night. Something has to give. So, I consulted some of my friends that have used the Baby Whisperer (or variations of it) and told them all my problems. What I got in return was a hefty dose of support and advice. I thank you all.

Now, back to why I didn't just feed Maya sooner... The last few days, I have been making a big effort to start us on a routine. I watch Maya like a hawk and respond to her cues as quickly as I recognize them. My goal is to get Maya eating every 3 hours again, and to make her a more independent sleeper. When she started displaying signs of tiredness, I immediately took her upstairs to get ready for a nap. It was not anywhere close to time for her to eat again. She was crying because she was tired, not because she was hungry. When I finally gave in and fed her, she ate for about 10 minutes then fell right to sleep. The problem with that is that all she is getting is the thirst quenching part of my milk. She did not eat long enough to get any of the nutrient-dense hind milk that comes as the dessert course in the order of milk production. That is the milk that will sustain her, that will get her through to 3 hours. Without it, she is just snacking and will always require more frequent feedings. Getting her to stay awake through a feeding is the most challenging part. Even if she has just woken up from a nap, she falls asleep about 5-10 minutes into each feeding. It's so hard to keep her awake! I just want her to get a FULL feeding. That's all!

What's worse than not being able to keep her awake to eat is not being able to comfort her. I hate it when she screams and cries when I am holding her. I can't stand the thought of letting her cry it out in bed, but it's very tempting when I feel like the result is the same, even when she's in my arms. I feel very defeated when I am trying my hardest to make her comfortable, to calm her, to soothe her, and all I get in return are loud cries of protest. I know she doesn't do it to hurt my feelings, but boy, does it ever! I feel like I must be the worse mother on the planet. What mother can't comfort her own baby?! It's a truly awful feeling. I'm hoping that by starting to get us into a routine, she will sleep better and in turn, she will eat better. Once those things are in order, I can regain my sanity. Until then, it will be touch and go. Wish us luck!

We Have Company!

Over this last weekend, we enjoyed having Dad, Dee, and the boys come up to Michigan for a visit. We spent a lot of time just hanging out together, playing with and watching Maya. She attracts a pretty good crowd! We went to the indoor skate park on Friday, so the boys could skateboard. Dad, Dee, and I were standing outside the park, watching all the skaters through the glass. Dee was holding Maya, when all of a sudden, she burst out laughing! It was the funniest thing! She had been watching the action on the other side of the glass, when suddenly, she just started giggling and giggling! She belly-laughed for about 30 seconds. It was the cutest, funniest thing. She has an adorable laugh, and I can't wait to hear it again! She hasn't laughed since then, so Will hasn't heard her yet. He asked me what she sounded like, but it's really indescribable. You just have to hear it. It's a beautiful noise!

On Sunday, all the boys (Will and Dad included) had plans to go to Michigan International Speedway to watch the NASCAR race. They had been looking forward to going for quite some time, and wouldn't you know it, it was canceled due to weather. We haven't had rain all summer in MI, and now it's supposed to rain all week! They're going to try to run the race sometime by Thursday, and it they can't, it will be post-poned for a couple of months. That's what we're hoping for. Then, they can get the time off again and come back to MI for another visit! Yay! It would be a cold race, but it would still be a ton of fun. Neither Will or my brothers have seen a live race before. I've gone 3 times, and it's quite an event. I loved it, and I know they will, too.

While the boys were trying to go to the race, Dee and I went to the mall. I needed some clothes desperately. It's getting chilly in MI, and all I have to wear are 2 pairs of capris, 1 pair of cropped pants, and several maternity jeans. I needed non-maternity jeans, and I'm not anywhere close to fitting into my pre-pregnancy ones. I tried on several pairs of jeans and shirts while Dee held Maya. I couldn't find anything that I felt flattered my new, let's just say "fluffy", body. I was getting very frustrated. Finally, we went to Eddie Bauer, and I found some jeans that I thought would be the right cut. I grabbed a size 16 and a size 18 (just in case). I went to the dressing room, eager to try on the jeans. Ever-hopeful, I tried on the 16's first, and GASP, they didn't fit! It was at that moment that a sales lady threw some more pants over the dressing room door for me to try on (of course, in size 16). This was when I got to tell her that the size 16's didn't fit. I would need bigger. I put on the size 18's and started to bawl. I opened the door to get the seal of approval from Dee, and I think she was shocked to see me with tears streaming down my face, my entire body shuddering as I sobbed. She came in and gave me hug, reminded me that I just had a baby, it's not forever, and to go easy on myself, that Maya wasn't even 3 months old. She hugged me while I cried and cried. Then she had to walk because Maya started crying, as she needed a change of scenery. They found a few more pairs of pants to try on, and I ended up buying 2 pairs of jeans. They fit good, and most importantly, they're not maternity! I've gone up 3 sizes since before I was pregnant. Boy, does that stink! I suppose that when Maya starts moving around, I'll run it off. I think the whole "breastfeed, and the extra weight will just fall off!" claim is a total farce. I lost 23 pounds in 2 weeks immediately after she was born. I'm assuming that was all water-weight. I have been exclusively breastfeeding now for 3 months, and I have not lost another pound. I guess sooner or later it will come off. Looks like it's going to be later.

Anyway, the family left town on Monday. It was very nice having them here. We love to have visitors. We miss everyone already, but we'll be back in Iowa in a few weeks for Will's sisters' double wedding. Speaking of which, I have to get measured for my bridesmaid dress soon. Yippee.

Does this diaper make my butt look big?

Maya is 2 1/2 months old and finally graduated into size 1 diapers (but only in Pampers because Huggies seem to run slightly bigger)! It is so funny because I remember when I was getting newborn size packages of diapers at our baby showers, people kept saying, "Don't open all the packages because they probably won't fit very long... it won't be long, she'll need the next size... she'll outgrow those really quickly, and if you haven't opened them, you can exchange them for the next size." Well, let me tell you, we bought SEVERAL packs of newborn diapers, and these size 1's look HUGE on her!! I figured it was time to go up a size when she was constantly having "blow-outs". These size 1's, or as I like to call them her "big girl diapers", seem to contain her explosive powers a little better. Who knew that so much volume could come out of such a little body?! She never ceases to amaze me on so many different levels!

We're also trying her out in her crib (a.k.a. her "big girl bed" hahaha...) for the first time tonight, so wish us luck and watch for a blog on that progress!

Date Night!

Gramma Cindy came back to see us! Yay! Mom came back to stay with us for a few nights. It's been so fun having her here. In true mother-daughter fashion, we went shopping. Every day. Yes, we're starting Maya out young, but I think it's best that she gets used to it at a young age as she has many, many, many hours (days, months... ) of shopping ahead of her. It was so much easier to shop with Mom here. She was a huge help when it came to entertaining Maya, so I could actually take my time and look at stuff. We were on a mission to find a dress for Maya to wear to Sara and Tara's weddings. We were successful, kind of. We found a cute skirt in the Carter's Pretty Blue print, and I was able to order a matching shirt off Ebay. We had a lot of fun just looking! I also had the opportunity to look for and buy a scrapbook for Maya's baby years. We did other stuff, too, like stay up and watch TV and talk, talk, talk. I love having my Mom around!

The last night she was here, we made some great plans. Will and I were going to go out on a date, and Mom and Maya were going to have a "pajama party". When Mom, Maya, and I came home from shopping (we had found an awesome toy store and consignment shop for baby and maternity clothes... score!), I fed Maya and pumped a bottle for Mom to have in case we weren't back by the time Maya needed to eat again. As soon as I was done with those things, we hit the road. Will had a gift card to The Melting Pot, so we decided to try that place out. It was very strange leaving the house without Maya or a diaper bag! I felt very empty-handed! I called Mom once on the way to the restaurant to tell her something that I forgot to mention while we were still at home. I'm sure she wasn't surprised to hear from me, and I bet she thought I would call several more times throughout the evening. I think both her and Will were shocked when I did not call back the entire night! When I talked to Mom, I could hear Maya crying in the back ground, but I wasn't surprised because I knew she was tired. I didn't worry. I knew Mom would be able to comfort her and get her to sleep in no time. I don't worry about Maya at all when she's with Mom. That's a real nice feeling.

So, Will and I went on our date. We hadn't been on a date since before Maya was born, and it was really nice to get out, just the two of us. The Melting Pot was delicious! We went all out and bought a full meal which included an appetizer, salad, entree, and dessert. We had a spicy fiesta cheese fondue for the appetizer and the mojo style entree, which were both delicious and reminded us of our many vacations to Mexico. For dessert, we had the Flaming Turtle chocolate fondue. YUMMY! The dinner was fantastic, and it was so nice to just have time to talk uninterrupted. I didn't realize how much I had been craving "us" time until that night. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE having a family of 3 now, but it's just different when we're alone. Not better, just different.

When we returned home, Mom was burping Maya, and I quickly discovered that Mom was right when she said, "Maya sucked the bottle down, and I think she's still hungry." I settled in to feed Maya and hear about their party. It turns out that the "pajama party" quickly turned into a "slumber party", since Maya slumbered the entire time we were gone! I think Mom was a tad disappointed. She was really looking forward to some one-on-one time with Maya. Next time, I'll have to drink some caffeine before I feed and leave Maya with Mom. Then she'll probably be wired and wear Mom out! At least then they'll get to play. Poor Gramma!! She'll be getting another shot at a pajama party in September when we go back for Will's sisters' weddings. Hope she has better luck next time!

Mom, if you're reading this, WE MISS YOU!! COME BACK SOON!!

She's on the Move!!

Maya rolled over today!! I had her down on the floor for tummy time, and since she hates having her face right next to the floor, I helped her prop herself up on her forearms to give her a little elevation. Before I knew it, she tipped her head to the right and rolled halfway over. She gave herself a big push with her top leg, and over she went! After she landed on her back, she just laid there for a second. Then, her face scrunched up and turned bright red, and she started crying! I think the sudden change in position scared her, or I guess it could have been all the cheering and clapping I responded with that startled her! It was so cute! I told Will about it (of course it happened while he was in the bathroom), and after I got her calmed down, I laid her back down to try it again. I wanted to make sure it wasn't just an accident (or gravity pulling the weight of her head down and leaving her legs no choice but to follow). She did it again! And again! And in the other direction! At 2 1/2 months, that's pretty good! And, she was wearing her Iowa Hawkeyes outfit. Maybe it means she's a natural born athlete! It can only get more exciting from here!!

Who's Uncle Will and Aunt Wendy?

Will's sister, Tara, her fiance, Jason, and his two kids (soon to be her two kids, too!), Alyssah and Tylor, came to visit us for a few days. We had a ton of fun with them. We haven't really spent any time around Alyssah and Tylor before, so it was a great chance for us to get to know them a little bit. They are two really great kids. Alyssah is a total riot. She latched on to Will immediately, and they spent the entire time poking fun at each other. She immediately started calling us "Uncle Will" and "Aunt Wendy". It sounded so foreign! It's fun to be an aunt and uncle, especially to those two. They could come up and stay with us any time they want to. We'd be glad to have them back! They both liked looking at and touching Maya (Tylor, especially), but neither of them wanted to hold her. Tara held her a couple of times. We took everyone out on the boat, and they all had a great time. It was a really long day with Maya out there. I spent the entire time trying to keep her out of the sun, which isn't easy when the boat is always turning! That night, we all went out to eat at Texas Roadhouse. I love that restaurant. The rolls are delicious. Will's Mom payed for us all to have dinner. Thanks, Peg! The next day, Will took them to Grand Haven to see Lake Michigan. They were there all day. Maya and I stayed home, as we had enough sun the day before. In the evenings, we just hung out at our house. It was definitely a fun visit, and we hope they come back up next year!

Happy 2nd Month, Maya!

Maya is 2 months old now, and it's so hard to believe! She's really grown and changed a lot over the last month. She is becoming a little social-butterfly, flashing a big gummy smile to everyone she meets. Sometimes she smiles so hard, you would think her cheeks are going to explode. It's so cute. She tries really hard to talk and coos all the time. When she coos, she has the prettiest, softest voice. I love to listen to her. Every once in a while, she yells out something that sounds exactly like "HI!". I mean, it sounds so much like "hi" that I asked Will if he thought we could say that was her first word! She also makes this funny gurgly-staticy sound when she gets excited. Speaking of getting excited, she has started pumping her arms and legs really fast and breathing fast while she lays on her back. It's so funny! She looks like she's doing baby-aerobics! She also likes to stick her tummy way out, like she's trying to be Santa Claus or something. It's so funny, and I always rub it and tell her that I'm rubbing it for good luck. Then she sticks it out even more. I just love her little attempts at playing and being funny. She cracks me up every day.

She had her 2 month check up with the pediatrician this week. She weighs 9 lbs. 6 oz. and is 22 inches long. I can't believe she hasn't gained 2 pounds yet! She's just a scrawny little thing! The doctor is not worried at all, so neither am I. I'm just surprised. I remember thinking that she was going to be huge when she was born, and here we are 2 months later still using newborn diapers and not yet fitting into some of her 0-3 month clothing! What a shocker. She's just long and skinny... maybe "America's Next Top Model" potential? Hahaha... The doctor also asked us how well she's holding up her head, and we were totally afraid to admit that she doesn't do a very good job at that! If she's laying on our chests, playing airplane, or just sitting up (with us holding on to her), she holds up her head really well, in fact, she always has. However, when we lay her down for tummy-time, she lays there and cries, like a turtle on its back! She'll squirm around, moving in a circle with her legs, but she refuses to pick her head up! She's pick it up just long enough to turn her face from side to side, but that's it. She hates tummy-time! I hope she gets over that because she needs to be on her tummy to learn to roll over and crawl! I'm sure she'll be fine, and the doctor wasn't concerned because she will hold her head up on her own in a seated position. She's so stubborn!

Breastfeeding is going well. What a difference a few weeks make for that skill! I remember the first month, how we would both have to really concentrate during the feedings. She would accidently unlatch herself then struggle a little to get latched back on. Now, she will be in the middle of eating, unlatch herself, stretch, fart, then come back at me like a pitbull and latch herself right back on without one ounce of effort! It's so funny. I find myself laughing at her while she eats, cause she's so aggressive with it! What a little piggy!

We're starting to think about transitioning her into her crib for bedtime. She's outgrowing her bassinet that she sleeps in now right next to our bed. She has about 1-2 inches at the top and bottom of the bassinet, and her hands already touch the sides if she lays her arms out to the sides. I feel bad putting her in it, but I'm not ready for her to be in her room! I love having her right next to me at night. I can check on her in a second if I wake up to her wimpering. I can easily pop her pacifier back in if she loses it. She sleeps well, I sleep well, so why change that?! Since she is outgrowing the bassinet, our only option is to start putting her in her crib or buy a big co-sleeper. I wish we would have just bought one of those from the get-go. I just didn't think I would want her in our room this long, so that seemed like a waste of money at the time. Hindsight is always 20/20. I guess it would be good for her to start sleeping in her crib... we'll see!

A friend of mine has asked me if I can remember what life was like without Maya. I can definitely remember what it was like, but Will and I are both in agreement that we would never want to go back to that life. Our lives just seem more fulfilled now. I don't remember our lives being boring before Maya, but they must have been! It seems like we were always busy, but now that we are truly busy, I have no idea what we did to pass time back then! I wouldn't go back to life as just a couple. I'm so glad that we actually have a family now. Our house feels so much more like a home. I love being a Mother and watching Will be a Daddy. It just feels right.