We Got the Ortho's "All Clear"

Liam had his 6 month recheck with Dr. Baszler today for an in-toeing issue with his left leg/foot that started about 10 months ago. I don't know who I felt sorrier for when he walked into the exam room. The first thing out of Liam's mouth, before Dr. Baszler could even close the door, was, "Doctor hurt me?" He was standing there with these huge inquisitive eyes and his little hand on his chest, wearing nothing but a long sleeve t-shirt and diaper, staring up at this gigantic man in a white coat. Dr. Baszler is probably 6' 3", so Liam really had to crane his neck to make eye contact with him. Before Dr. Baszler could respond, Liam repeated, "Doctor hurt Liam?" Awww.... poor kid! I felt so bad for him. He had already asked me that when he found out he was going to see a doctor, and I reassured him that the doctor would not hurt him. He also asked if "Liam get shot?" to which I also promised he would not. Our doctor has a very warm smile and kind demeanor, so he quickly earned their trust. The exam went well. He said he notices significant improvements, he doesn't recommend x-rays (and never has), and we should just watch it at home. I agree completely with his assessment, so I guess we are done with that issue! Yay!

The entire time I was sitting there talking about Liam's issue, I was fighting the urge to ask him about Maya's neck. She has had this high cervical spine clicking that started at the beginning of December. It never causes her any pain or neurological symptoms, so we have been waiting it out. Will did ask Dr. Baszler about it over the phone, and he also asked the opinion of a spine specialist. I still did not feel at ease, considering neither of these doctors had actually laid their hands on Maya. I felt that was necessary to give an actual opinion, so despite their over-the-phone diagnosis, I couldn't let it rest. It's her neck, for crying out loud! So, towards the end of Liam's visit, I swallowed my pride (believe me, I hated being THAT patient) and asked him about her neck. I thought he would listen to the click and tell me whether or not I needed to make an actual appointment with him. Oh, no. He gave her a full exam right then and there and asked me if we had time to do a series of x-rays on her! Um, yeah! Are you kidding?? I was a little nervous during his exam because he asked me if there was a family history of rheumatoid arthritis or that condition that makes all of your connective tissue super-stretchy. I told him that I didn't know of any, then he tested her flexibility a little bit. She could easily lay her thumb against her forearm, and the fact that she can touch her head to her butt or feet without any effort is a pretty clear indication that there is some hyper-flexibility going on there! He felt the films were necessary to make sure she didn't have any ligamentous instability. If the x-rays proved this to be true, she would have to be out of gymnastics for a couple of years, just to make sure she didn't do any damage to her spinal cord while the ligament became stable. That was my biggest concern - her having something wrong, us not knowing it, then her getting injured because we chose not to check it out. I thanked him about 100 times, got my "new patient" paperwork to fill out for Maya, and headed to the x-ray department. She was a total champ during the series of x-rays. I put on a lead apron and went in with her. I think they took about 7 films, and she sat perfectly still for each one. I was so proud of her! In the meantime, Liam was entertaining Chris, another radiology department employee and one of my hip-hop dance buddies! We were in and out of there pretty quickly.

After a small mishap with the automatic revolving door (Just picture Liam in one section in front of me, heading for the exit that lets out right next to the parking lot and Maya and I in the section right behind him. Now, picture me pulling on the door with all of my strength to stop it, so Liam could get out and I could quickly follow to keep him from walking out into the street... all the while screaming at him through the glass to "STOP!" Needless to say, it was a fiasco.) - those things are dangerous for small children and should be outlawed, by the way - we headed home, and I called Will to tell him what all we had done at the hospital. He didn't know that I was going to ask Dr. Baszler about Maya, so I had to call and confess that I had pulled one of the most obnoxious patient moves on his friend. Thank goodness they are friends. That might explain why he was so accommodating!

By mid-afternoon, Will was tired of waiting for the x-ray results, so he called up the radiologist. Another doctor had already read them, and this doctor looked them over, too, just for good measure. The verdict? All clear! YAY!! God continues to bless our children with health! Thank you, Lord!!

The kids had a major "on" day today. They were playing so well together that I let them BOTH skip their naps! They played without interruption or participation by me for about FOUR hours! I could not believe it. It was too much of a beautiful thing to make them stop and take naps. At one point, I could hear Maya downstairs saying to Liam, who was undoubtedly standing in the play-structure (a.k.a "the tower"), "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your golden hair!" Oh boy, what an awesome brother. Liam plays the part of the girl and doesn't even care! One of the many qualities that I admire in him - his ability to go with the flow! When he came upstairs, he too was reciting the line, so apparently at some point, he got to switch and play the part of Flynn Rider. Maya did inform me that when she fills up her vase this time, she wants to go see Rapunzel again and this time, take her brother. I agreed wholeheartedly. After their big day of play, the kids went down for bed super-easy. Ahhhh..... That makes Mama happy!

My hair has grown out about as long as I feel it necessary to grow out (about to the bottom of my shoulder blades), and I was getting restless. Every time this happens, I chop it off, then spend the next day in tears, wishing I had my hair back. I decided that wasn't going to happen again (at least, not this time). I figured I had two options, color or a perm. Color tends to have a lot of upkeep, especially in hair that grows as fast as mine, so I went with the perm. Since perms are SO 1980's/early 1990's, I was a little hesitant. I didn't want to end up looking like a poodle, so I agreed to do it ONLY after I was guaranteed by the stylist that it would be loose waves, not tight curls. I trust her, so I went for it! She used these crazy long foam rods that made me look like Medusa. Add the gigantic swath of cotton wrapped around my head, and I was the definition of a "hot mess". Really. It was bad. Three and a half hours and one glass of white zinfandel later, I was a new woman! The style looked a little less Meg Ryan than I hoped but more like Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman", which is fine by me! My next hair cut will be a Locks-of-Love donation with a style like Rapunzel's at the end of "Tangled". It's really cute, and I'm already looking forward to it!

We had an unexpected situation with Maya this morning. When I told her it was a school day, she started whining and saying that she didn't want to go to school. What?! I have NEVER heard her say that before, so I was a little torn on what to do. Will, on the other hand, was not. I always said I wouldn't force her to do anything she didn't want to do, and let's be honest, it's just 3-year-old preschool. She could probably skip a day, and it would be fine. However, I don't want to set that precedent. I don't want her thinking that she can just say, "I just don't feel like going to school today," and expect me to say, "Okay." NO! That's not how I roll. Then again, it's just preschool. Would letting her play hooky for one day ruin her entire school career? Probably not, but I'd rather not take the chance. Will did not have ANY conflict on making the decision. I don't think it would have mattered what I said on the subject because as soon as the words came out of her mouth, these words came flying out of his, "Well, you're GOING to school." Clearly, to him, there will never be any other option. The kids better hope their Dad is at work if they are ever sick and want to stay home! I'm not sure how sick they'd have to be to get a "stay home" pass from him! Hahahaha... I was a little bit surprised by his reaction, but I backed him 100%. As soon as I saw how convicted he was on the subject, it helped me get out of my wishy-washy mindset and jump on the "you're GOING to school" bandwagon. It was the right decision. For sure. When Will brought her home from school, she ran up to me and said, "I changed my mind! I changed my mind! I want to go to school now!" I gave her a big hug and told her that I thought she would, as I KNOW she loves school.

Speaking of bandwagons, I got back on my diet and exercise bandwagon today. I started wearing my BodyBugg to keep track of the calories I burn throughout the day, and I'm tracking my calorie intake online. This will let me know if I have a calorie surplus or deficit, according to my goals, by the end of the day. It's pretty cool, and I'm really hoping it will help me stay on track. Will is doing it, too, so hopefully that will help. I hit the gym today for the first time since before the holidays. I ran a MILE for the first time in months, and it felt really good! I'm definitely going to start running again. I'm shooting for the 10k at the 5/3 River Bank Run on May 14th. I ran it last year with a super crappy time (1:17), so it shouldn't be too difficult to beat that time this year. I'm just happy to be focusing on getting healthy again. I think with Will and I doing this together, it should be easier.

"Tangled"

Maya filled her vase with jewels once again, and this was her reward.... a movie date with Mommy and Daddy to see Disney's new "Tangled". It was FANTASTIC!! I loved it and wouldn't mind seeing it again, in 3D. It was just a fun, fun movie! Maya really enjoyed the movie, too, until **spoiler alert** Flynn cut off Rapunzel's long golden hair! I thought she was going to cry! Luckily, Rapunzel's fate kept getting better, so it ended on a very happy note. Thank you, Disney! We were the only ones in the theater, so that was nice because Maya could talk and comment on the movie without us having to hush her. Had we known we were going to be alone, we would have considered bringing Liam. I think he would have loved all the action. Maybe next time. It was Maya's night anyway, and she REALLY enjoys those date nights with us. There aren't many opportunities that we have to single her out and focus on having fun together. I feel like all too often, I spend my entire day in conflict with her or at very least, giving her orders (again and again and again....). We really should go on dates with her more often because her happiness is evident. She basks in the attention and loves the chance to hang out with the "grown-ups". Tonight, she even carried a purse.

After the movie, she rode the carousel, and I rode with her, like always. I quickly figured out that she's at the age that she probably doesn't need me to chaperon her on the carousel anymore. Aside from actually helping her onto the horse, I never laid a hand on her during the entire ride. She held the pole, her purse, and even had a free hand to goof off and make faces at Will. I'd say she pretty much has it mastered!

I'm so proud of her. She has been trying REALLY hard to stay in her bed at bed time. There are nights that she loses her jewels (and her Barbies), and it takes about 2 hours to get her to sleep. Most often, though, it takes about 30 minutes, and we aren't having to stay in bed (or even her room) with her. That is a HUGE step in the right direction. She's turning into such a big girl, I can hardly stand it! As much as I'm not ready for her to grow up, it is fun to be able to take her to the theater, plays, and ballets. I'm hoping to foster a love for the arts at a very early age. I need a theater buddy, and I cannot imagine a better one than my own daughter! I love to spend time with her, and I know she loves it, too. I'm so blessed to have Maya for my daughter.

While Maya was at school today, I took my little man to get a hair cut. He handled it like a champ, and I love his spiky little hair style! Spiky hair REALLY suits his personality! He giggled and flirted with the nice young woman, who cut his hair, and she was totally smitten with him. He's such a little lover. There's always more than one huge smile for everyone he meets!

When I picked up Maya from school, I found out that she, too, has been causing some heart-ache. According to Liam S.'s mom, he couldn't wait to get back to school to see Maya! She said that all she heard during the entire last week of Christmas vacation was, "I miss Maya! I want to see Maya at school again! (Etc, etc...)" The mom jokingly admitted that she was a little miffed that Liam already has "another girl" in his life. I told her that I didn't think that was supposed to happen for another 20 years! I could definitely sympathize. I like to think that I'm the only woman that MY Liam cares about!

Now, THAT'S More Like It!

Twenty minutes. Yes, I repeat, a TWENTY minute bed time tonight for the Little Miss. BOO-YAH!!

(For reference, this is in comparison to the 2 and 1/2 hour bed time just last night.... grrr.)

Hellooo, 2011!

It's the start of a new year and another set of (all of the same) resolutions. Whether I stick with them or not, which is almost always the case, it seems somehow important to establish some goals for the year. So, here we go...

#1 - Weight loss! I need to lose 67 pounds (officially) to reach my goal weight of 155 lbs. Please, don't bother with the math, just know that it's too much. Will bought me a Body Bugg to aid in this. I guess I better charge the batteries and start using it. My biggest effort today was drinking 64 ounces of water (and peeing out approximately 128). Apparently, I am not dehydrated. This need to lose weight has been a thorn in my side since I gave birth to Maya, three and a half years ago. I'm at my heaviest, non-pregnant weight I have EVER been, and I'm miserable and ready for a change. Now, I just need to find the ambition to make that change!

#2 - BLOG! I always say that I want to blog because I have so many memories, photos, sayings from the kids that I don't want to forget, yet I continually fail to make it a priority in my daily life. My goal is to write one entry a day, even if it is just a line or two. I'd be happy with a quote-a-day from the kids. That shouldn't be too difficult! If I can keep my hands busy typing, they will be less busy eating. I always enjoy a kill-two-birds-with-one-stone kind of opportunity. I wonder if DOING one thing so NOT to do something else qualifies as multitasking? I think so.

There you have it, my two "resolutions". There are definitely more things I'd like to focus on this year, but they are more subjective and harder to count as an actual resolution. Such as, I hope that by the time Liam is getting into a big-boy-bed, I am able to tuck Maya in at night, without having to bribe, yell, stand guard, or threaten her (with taking her Barbies out of her bed, losing jewels, etc...). I just want the day to end with a PEACEFUL night-time ritual. Every night. I hate the nights, like tonight, when I have to confiscate all four Barbies, take away the opportunity for earning jewels, and threaten to take away the very thing that she just earned with her jewels (a Mommy-Daddy-Maya date to see "Tangled"), all the while she's crying, and I'm so mad, I feel like my head is going to explode! That is NO way to end a day with your child. No matter how great the day was up to that point, THAT bed time ends up being the ONE event that stands out in your mind from the entire day. It sucks. I am praying that this will get better. It has to. For the sake of our relationship (meaning mine and Maya's), it just has to.

Another goal with the kids, which is totally cliché because anyone with kids feels this way, is to take more time to just spend with them. It really does my heart good to be there, actively playing with them or just watching them discover something new or use their imaginations to play, and I need to stop obsessing over the house, the laundry, the kitchen, and Facebook and REALLY take the time to be part of these moments. Don't get my wrong, I spend quite a bit of time playing with/entertaining the kids, but there could be more. This last year has gone by in a blur, and I don't want to miss these moments. I can't get this time back. Ever. When the mountain of laundry seems super-important, I need to remember that. They are only little once. I only get one chance at this, and I want to give them my all. They deserve it.

What they also deserve, perhaps more than anything else, is the confirmation through mine and Will's actions, that our relationship is rock solid. It's important for kids to know that's one thing they don't have to worry about. Will and I know all too well the consequences of failed marriages, and though we both turned out normal (hey, no comments from the peanut gallery, okay?), that is definitely NOT something we want for our kids. Sometimes, though, with our busy schedules and crazy lives, we take each other for granted. We assume the other is "okay", when we haven't checked in and don't really know. Things go unsaid for fear of hurting the other's feelings. Other things are assumed. We get short-tempered and moody with each other. We continue to think that the other has the capacity to read our minds. SO NOT TRUE, and I'm probably the MOST guilty of this! Our apparent lack of good communication skills has to change because I fear that poor communication alone can be detrimental to a marriage. Maybe it's because we're both Taurus's, which basically means we are both bull-headed and stubborn, that we're poor communicators. Maybe it's because not communicating is just easier. Maybe. I don't know. What has been suggested by several of our friends, who have all experienced this, is for us to read "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. This suggests that everyone has their own "love language", which is the type of communication that we respond the most favorably to. The problem arises when two people are communicating in two different "languages". This book would help both Will and I discover which "language" we favor, which is huge for knowing how to communicate effectively with each other! I mean, we've been together for almost 12 years (WOW! That's almost 1/2 my lifetime!), so we're doing something right! However, we have the rest of our (hopefully long) lives to look forward to spending together, so I can't see how it would hurt us to communicate more effectively! Again, don't panic or think we are on the brink of d-i-v-o-r-c-e because we're not. Marriage takes work, and we need to work on ours. There is room for improvement in EVERY relationship, and because I love Will SO much, I want to improve ours. There is certainly nothing wrong with that.

Which leads me to something else... my Mom would say (in regards to the kids), "But you DO spend a lot of time playing with them! Don't beat yourself up over it!" And, she's right! I'm my own worst critique. Aren't we all? I do have (and if my memory serves me correctly) and always have had the tendency to expect perfection from myself and beat myself down if I don't deliver, which is pretty much always! I need to learn to cut myself some slack, give myself a little grace, and MAYBE I wouldn't feel the need to fret about things like I mentioned in the prior two paragraphs. I AM a good mom. I AM a good wife. I AM a good friend, daughter, sister, etc..., but I feel like I could do a better job in all of these roles. I know I could, however, I have to remember that relationships aren't perfect. Life's not perfect, and I need to give myself some credit when credit is due. Sometimes I have to ask myself, "Would I be mad if Maya did or didn't do such and such?" Usually the answer is a very solid "No", so I can only say to myself, "Then STOP worrying about it!" Geesh! If only I could give myself a break every once in a while!

I'm really hoping that my increasing involvement in our church will help figure some of these things out. I feel the best when I am doing something to help someone else, and my new role as a Deacon should feed that desire to serve. I think this is going to give me the opportunity to grow closer, not only to my church family, but also to God. I have taken an active role as a Christian Educator this last year, teaching the preschool Sunday school class. That, I am sure, has benefited me more than the children! I'm learning about all of these Bible stories and people, who I don't know anything about, and it's awesome! I am involved in our Not-So-Youth-Group's book club, and I have learned a lot from our meetings and discussions about some of our reading selections. Most recently, we read "The Hiding Place" by Corrie Ten Boom. It is the second time I have read it and most certainly not the last. I found a lot of comfort in the pages of that book. Sometimes pieces of Scripture can speak to me in ways through these books (or a church sermon) that it most definitely wouldn't if I read it (or heard it) in any other context. "The Hiding Place" is a prime example. I found myself dog-earring several pages in the book where stories, Bible passages, or prayers seemed to bring me peace. How odd that prayers being said by sisters in a German concentration camp in the mid-1940's could have relevance in my life today! The timing of this reading couldn't have been better. Later this month, Will and I are heading to Honduras on a mission trip. I will be away from the kids for 10 days, and the reality of this is setting in. I've started to wonder if I'll be able to handle being gone that long. What if the kids miss me or need me? What if I miss them? What if something happens to one or both of us? What if?? What if?? I've started to drive myself CRAZY with these "what if's", but what I learned from Corrie Ten Boom is that there is no "what if" in God's world! I have to trust that this mission, our kids, and WE are in His hands, and that whatever will be is according to His plan. Ah! That's hard to accept for a control-freak like me! It's SO HARD. But, I'm trying. I really am, and I think the proof that it's absolutely true is the peace that I felt after reading it. It was peace that I had most recently NOT felt about this trip. I have to trust in God and understand that it's not MY plan, it's His. If you would have asked me just one year ago, "What role do you think you will have in the church not just within the year, but EVER?" I would have assumed that I would be attending regularly. Period. I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would, in one year, teach VBS for a week, go on a mission trip to Honduras where I'll be teaching VBS again, be a part of the Christian Ed. department, teaching Sunday school on a regular basis, become a Deacon, or be enrolled in a Parish Nursing program with the goal to administer to our church congregation in a nursing role! Are you kidding me? God has some plans for me, and I feel as long as I continue to be open to these plans, I'll be okay. Everything will work itself out, and I'll be just fine. I do believe that by serving other people, I will be serving the Lord, and by doing so, I'll gain that inner peace that I struggle so hard to find.

Hmmm.... so, I started with the new year's resolutions and ended with a synopsis of my current spiritual state. I'm not so sure that it all fit together, but it all seemed relevant. There you have it. My hopes, fears, and goals for 2011. Probably more than you bargained for when you started reading this post! Here's wishing all of my loved ones health, happiness, and love in this new year!

I'm Dreaming of a Pillow Pet!

Tonight, our sitter, Alyssa, came over to put the kids to bed, so I could go to dance class (which as it turns out, is canceled this week and next for Christmas break). When she got to our house, I gave her a couple of Christmas gifts for being such a great sitter. We REALLY do appreciate our sitters (first, Hilary, whom we still miss... and most recent, Alyssa and Britni) because they are our only means to having a social life! Without having any family in the area, we depend on them for ALL of our childcare needs. So, to express our love and gratitude, we give them a Christmas gift. One of the gifts that Alyssa opened was a plush, fleecy blanket, rolled up and secured with a strip of cloth. As she pulled it out of the bag, I heard a sharp intake of breath from Maya, followed anxiously by the question, "Is it a Pillow Pet... or no?" HAHAHAHA...... I love the hopeful innocence that would anticipate the possibility that the coveted Pillow Pet just might emerge from the gift bag... for the sitter. Oh my word. I thought I was going to lose it. How darn cute is that?! You know she couldn't wait to play with it, if that indeed was the contents of the bag. Don't worry, readers, she IS getting one for Christmas. Gramma Cindy has a purple hippo Pillow Pet with her name ALL over it. I cannot wait to see her open it!

On another note, Little Miss was given the opportunity to earn 5 jewels tonight if she went to bed and to sleep when it was time for lights out. When I returned home at 9:30pm, she was STILL awake and had been out of her bed, manipulating Alyssa, three times! Grrr..... I took her upstairs and told her she still had the chance to earn two jewels tonight. She started to cry because she wanted five jewels, so she can fill up her vase to get her Beauty and the Beast thing. She did not think it was fair that she wasn't allowed to start over with the five jewel offer from me. She's quite the negotiator (or at least, tries to be)! Anyway, after one more warning and lost jewel, she finally settled in and fell asleep. I wonder if, in the morning, she'll realize what she could have had (5 jewels) and be bummed that she's only getting one? I'm anxious to reward her, so hopefully it will up the ante, showing her that she does get something awesome for earning the jewels. I think her vase will be full in a day or two, and we'll see!