Happy 3rd Month, Maya!

This month has been really big in developments. In the beginning of the month, she started getting really "handsy". She went from looking like a little hippie-dancer to looking like a kung-foo fighter. She would wave her hands around and swat at things (or the air), and smack whatever happened to be in her path. It started to get interesting watching her play with her floor gym. Instead of just staring at the toys, she could send them flying, creating all sorts of noise. Because of all these new jerky hand movements, she was startling herself all the time. It was quite humerus. She would just be laying there, then all of a sudden, WHAM! Her had would go flying near her face, and her whole body would jump in response. It was so funny. Now, she's gotten used to her hands, and she has a little more control over them. They're not so frightening anymore. She spends a lot of time playing with her hands, clasping her fingers together. Seemingly over-night, she went from swatting uncontrollably at her toys on her gym to purposefully touching and grabbing her toys. I'm not kidding. I was watching her play one day when she reached up and very smoothly grabbed the beach ball that was hanging above her head with both hands. I couldn't believe it. How could that be the same baby who just yesterday was smacking the ball over and over with such jerky arm motions? She was intent on smacking the ball, but she wasn't anywhere close to reaching for it. The over-night transformation was amazing. It was one week ago that she started reaching for that ball, and now she does it with such precision that you would think she'd been doing it since the day she was born! I love to watch her play with her hands. Obviously, they look so foreign to her. You know she's thinking "what the heck are these things??". She tries to suck on her fingers, and she succeeds most of the time. She always gets different fingers in her mouth, though. She hasn't figured out how to do it consistently, and she cannot get to her thumb. It's always her fingers. At least two of them, most of the time more. She sucks on them so fiercely that they are always bright red when she's done. Now I just need her to suck on them at night when she wakes up to put her little self back to sleep! Hopefully, she'll figure that trick out soon!

At the beginning of the month, Maya rolled over for the first time! She was 9 1/2 weeks old. We were quite impressed. She'll roll herself over quite easily if she's propped up on her elbows. Usually when we put her down for tummy time, she just lays there and cries. She still hates it. She'll tolerate it a little better if she's propped up a bit, so her face isn't right in the floor. That's how she rolled over the first time, and she's done it several times since then. Last week, she rolled over COMPLETELY unassisted. She was laying on the blanket for tummy time, and all of a sudden, she flipped herself right over! She wasn't even propped on her elbows. Before we know it, she'll be rolling (then crawling) all over the place! Watch out because here she comes!

She began sleeping in her "big girl bed" this month, too. We planned to keep her in her bassinet in our room through this month, but she grew too big for the little sleeping space. So, in the middle of the month, we started putting her in her crib for sleeping at night. I thought that I would be really upset about it, but it was surprisingly easy. Her sleeping pattern didn't change at all, and I started sleeping much better. Being able to hear her every sigh and moan made for some very light sleeping. Now, I can still hear her on the monitor right next to the bed, but I don't hear her until she's fussing or cooing to herself. It's really nice knowing that she has enough room to stretch out, too.

This month, we had our biggest struggle with our schedule. Looking back, I think the problems were self-inflicted. We got the point that she was eating every two hours and not napping very well during the day. I thought I was going to go crazy. The napping issue was not new. She'd never been a great napper since she was born, however, she had always been a great eater, nursing every three hours. I wasn't sure how we had fallen into the every two hour routine. I started to freak out, thinking that I must be doing something wrong. I suddenly became obsessed with trying to get her to nap during the day. I thought if she would sleep better, then she would eat better. The second she would yawn, I would scoop her up, take her upstairs, rock her, and try to get her to sleep. She would resist and cry. When she would finally give in (if she did) and fall asleep, she would wake up as soon as I laid her down in her crib. She would cry, I would pick her up to rock her and sing, and she would fight sleep as sure as I was fighting to get her to sleep. If I got her to sleep, she would sleep for 20-45 minutes. It was a battle. Usually she won. Once I decided that what works for other people and what I read in books might not work for us, we both started to relax. I would pay attention to her cues, and when she started to get fussy, I would rock her to sleep. Sometimes she would stay asleep, sometimes not. Oh, well. I decided that she would sleep when she needed to sleep, and if she's tired enough, just putting her in her swing is enough to lull her to sleep. Sometimes, all she needs is a blanket to hide her face in, then she puts a little hand over her eyes (damsel in distress style), and she's out like a light. I just accepted that she may not need as much day time sleep as some babies. She's sleeping well at night, and I've been able to stretch out her feedings. I found that when I intervened and tried to put her down for a nap too soon, she would fight sleep. If I let her stay up for about two hours, then wind her down, she will sleep for 30-40 minutes. That puts us much closer to the three hour mark for feedings. I think we're both happier. She's not being forced to take a nap, and I'm not feeding her every two hours (which is very taxing!). It's been a lot of trial and error, but I think that's what parenting is all about. Flexibility is key. There will be ups and downs, highs and lows. I just have to learn to go with the flow. Life will be much easier if I don't have too high of expectations. We're both new at this. Maya doesn't know what to do, and I'm just learning how to teach her. I guess I need to cut myself some slack every now and then.

We did start a really nice bed time routine this month. Every night, I feed her around 7:30pm. I give her a bath at 8pm. She really likes the bath. She spends her bath time eating bubbles and sticking out her belly. It's so cute. She arches her back, pushing her little belly WAY out, making it look very big. She always does this in the bath and sometimes when I change her diaper or get her dressed. It totally cracks me up. I put my hand on her belly and say, "OH, MY! You have such a big tummy!!" In response, she puffs it out even more. I just laugh and laugh at her. Anyway, after the bath, I snuggle her up in a towel, and we head up the stairs. I put her on her changing table, get her diaper on (with lots of butt cream!), and put on her pj's and sleep blanket. If she gets fussy, I sing to her and give her her paci. Then I turn on her Twilight Turtle (I night-light that projects stars onto the ceiling and walls) and her Fisher Price Tropical Waterfall light-up crib thing. We turn out the lights and sit in the rocker. I say prayers with her, then I sing and cuddle her until she falls asleep. It's a wonderful time. Some people say not to rock babies to sleep, but I cherish that quiet time we spend together every night. I don't plan on quitting any time soon. She sleeps really well after that. I go back to her for a dream feed somewhere around 11pm, and she sleeps until about 6-7am, waking only once before that at about 5am to be soothed back to sleep with her paci. It's a great routine, and I think all the winding down really helps her sleep well through the night.

"GOO!" That's Maya's favorite word right now, and she says it with such conviction. Her verbal skills are expanding. Every day is filled with "goo", "ha", "hi", "ew", "ka", and many more sounds, including a hearty "pthaa" with her tongue. She does a lot of gurgling and making "raspberries" in the air. Her crying and fussing has also increased. I think she is realizing that making noise gets the attention of her people. Noticing this, my dad added a verse to one of his songs that says, "Yell if you feel like it." Boy, does she ever! She laughed ONE time, and she hasn't done it since! She smiles all the time, and it always looks like there is a laugh just waiting to escape. I've tried everything short of standing on my head to get her to laugh. It will be interesting to see what it takes. Whenever it finally comes out, it will be precious.

My favorite time of day is when I go to her crib to get her up for the day. I hear her cooing to herself or her mobile. I go into her room, open her curtains, and walk over to her bed. I look down at her, and as soon as she sees me, her face breaks into a HUGE gummy smile. She gets all squirmy and continues smiling, her cooing increases. Her little hands are busy, playing with her fingers or blanket. I reach out to her. Sometimes her hands go to mine and grab at my fingers. I pick her up, give her a kiss, and hug her like my life depends on it. She responds with more cooing and slobbers on my cheek. I tell her I love her, and I carry her down the stairs to feed her for the second time of the day. To me, there is no better way to start each day. Just knowing that I'll be seeing her smiling face is worth every minute of lost sleep. It's hard to believe that our life will just keep getting better, that there will be more precious times than these. I'm not in any rush to see her grow up. I love being able to hold her little tiny body close to mine.

Floorboard Landmines

Do you have any idea of how many creaky floorboards are in Maya's room? I didn't either, until I started napping her in her crib. During the day, she seems to sleep much lighter than she does at night. It was during a nap time when I tried to sneak out of her room that I noticed all the boards creaking under my feet. Sometimes I would step halfway down, then slowly pick my foot back up, trying to keep a particularly loud board from waking Maya. I feel like I'm trying to execute a complicated dance routine trying to get out of her room. Once I safely hit the door, I gaze once more over the side of her crib to make sure she's laying still. I know that if she's fidgeting, I've been caught in my escape, and I'll be doing the dance all over again. I suppose in time I will learn where to step and where not to step while delicately navigating the floorboard landmines.

A Fierce Competitor

In a battle of wills, Maya is one fierce competitor! Case in point: Today, Maya went down for a nap at 12:30pm, woke up at 1:15pm, ate for about 30 minutes, then played for another 20 minutes. Toward the end of play-time, she started getting fussy and fidgety, averting her eyes from pretty much everything and burying her face in my neck. Following HER cues, I took her upstairs to her bedroom and started to rock her a bit to get her settled in to take a nap. She started crying. Now here's where the battle began. I started patting her back while "shushing" her quite loudly to break through the volume of her crying (a la Baby Whisperer-style). No response. She continued to cry, turning her head from side to side, continually knocking her pacifier out of her mouth while she rubbed her face on my shoulder. Knowing in my heart that she was tired, I was determined to get her to relax and take a good long nap. Finally she settled down and became limp in my arms as her breathing slowed to a normal rate and her crying subsided. I held her just a bit longer, then attempted to place her in her crib. She was not having any part of that. She started bawling all over again. So, I shushed her while she laid in her crib. I shushed so fiercely that I started to get light-headed! I picked her back up and sat down (before I passed out!) and began rocking her again. Still she cried. Scratch that. She screamed. Loud. In my ear for several minutes. I thought I was going to lose my mind. I continued to shush and pat and then just pat when I felt like I was going to pass out again from shushing so much. Then I sang, then just hummed. And patted. And shushed. You get the idea... I eventually was able to calm her enough to lay her down again. (see "she was not having any part of that" from above and reread through "you get the idea".)

It's very disheartening when you cannot comfort your own baby. We battled this out for an hour at which point, it had been almost 2 hours since she last ate. Finally, I threw in the towel and fed her. I knew since it was so close to 2 hours, there was no way she was going to fall asleep. Just the energy expelled from fighting so hard must have revved up her appetite. She ate for about 10 minutes, then fell fast asleep. Now you might wonder why I didn't feed her sooner to solve the problem. Here's why: When I was pregnant, I read "The Baby Whisperer" not once, but twice. I really liked her philosophy and approach to handling babies, and I thought that when I had Maya, I would follow her principles and teach Maya to be independent while I created some time for myself in the process. Well, Maya was so good and quite easy to take care of for the first couple of months that I didn't make an effort to do anything from the Baby Whisperer's book. Everything seemed to fall into place. She was easy. I fed her every 3 hours during the day, and she slept for 5-7 hour stretches at night. Admittedly, she didn't nap well, but I just figured that she didn't want to miss out on anything. Plus, she slept pretty well during the night, so what did I care (besides the fact that I never got anything done around the house!)? These last few weeks have changed quite a bit. Maya is now eating every 2 hours during the day, still not napping, and starting to be more difficult to put to sleep anytime, day or night. Something has to give. So, I consulted some of my friends that have used the Baby Whisperer (or variations of it) and told them all my problems. What I got in return was a hefty dose of support and advice. I thank you all.

Now, back to why I didn't just feed Maya sooner... The last few days, I have been making a big effort to start us on a routine. I watch Maya like a hawk and respond to her cues as quickly as I recognize them. My goal is to get Maya eating every 3 hours again, and to make her a more independent sleeper. When she started displaying signs of tiredness, I immediately took her upstairs to get ready for a nap. It was not anywhere close to time for her to eat again. She was crying because she was tired, not because she was hungry. When I finally gave in and fed her, she ate for about 10 minutes then fell right to sleep. The problem with that is that all she is getting is the thirst quenching part of my milk. She did not eat long enough to get any of the nutrient-dense hind milk that comes as the dessert course in the order of milk production. That is the milk that will sustain her, that will get her through to 3 hours. Without it, she is just snacking and will always require more frequent feedings. Getting her to stay awake through a feeding is the most challenging part. Even if she has just woken up from a nap, she falls asleep about 5-10 minutes into each feeding. It's so hard to keep her awake! I just want her to get a FULL feeding. That's all!

What's worse than not being able to keep her awake to eat is not being able to comfort her. I hate it when she screams and cries when I am holding her. I can't stand the thought of letting her cry it out in bed, but it's very tempting when I feel like the result is the same, even when she's in my arms. I feel very defeated when I am trying my hardest to make her comfortable, to calm her, to soothe her, and all I get in return are loud cries of protest. I know she doesn't do it to hurt my feelings, but boy, does it ever! I feel like I must be the worse mother on the planet. What mother can't comfort her own baby?! It's a truly awful feeling. I'm hoping that by starting to get us into a routine, she will sleep better and in turn, she will eat better. Once those things are in order, I can regain my sanity. Until then, it will be touch and go. Wish us luck!

We Have Company!

Over this last weekend, we enjoyed having Dad, Dee, and the boys come up to Michigan for a visit. We spent a lot of time just hanging out together, playing with and watching Maya. She attracts a pretty good crowd! We went to the indoor skate park on Friday, so the boys could skateboard. Dad, Dee, and I were standing outside the park, watching all the skaters through the glass. Dee was holding Maya, when all of a sudden, she burst out laughing! It was the funniest thing! She had been watching the action on the other side of the glass, when suddenly, she just started giggling and giggling! She belly-laughed for about 30 seconds. It was the cutest, funniest thing. She has an adorable laugh, and I can't wait to hear it again! She hasn't laughed since then, so Will hasn't heard her yet. He asked me what she sounded like, but it's really indescribable. You just have to hear it. It's a beautiful noise!

On Sunday, all the boys (Will and Dad included) had plans to go to Michigan International Speedway to watch the NASCAR race. They had been looking forward to going for quite some time, and wouldn't you know it, it was canceled due to weather. We haven't had rain all summer in MI, and now it's supposed to rain all week! They're going to try to run the race sometime by Thursday, and it they can't, it will be post-poned for a couple of months. That's what we're hoping for. Then, they can get the time off again and come back to MI for another visit! Yay! It would be a cold race, but it would still be a ton of fun. Neither Will or my brothers have seen a live race before. I've gone 3 times, and it's quite an event. I loved it, and I know they will, too.

While the boys were trying to go to the race, Dee and I went to the mall. I needed some clothes desperately. It's getting chilly in MI, and all I have to wear are 2 pairs of capris, 1 pair of cropped pants, and several maternity jeans. I needed non-maternity jeans, and I'm not anywhere close to fitting into my pre-pregnancy ones. I tried on several pairs of jeans and shirts while Dee held Maya. I couldn't find anything that I felt flattered my new, let's just say "fluffy", body. I was getting very frustrated. Finally, we went to Eddie Bauer, and I found some jeans that I thought would be the right cut. I grabbed a size 16 and a size 18 (just in case). I went to the dressing room, eager to try on the jeans. Ever-hopeful, I tried on the 16's first, and GASP, they didn't fit! It was at that moment that a sales lady threw some more pants over the dressing room door for me to try on (of course, in size 16). This was when I got to tell her that the size 16's didn't fit. I would need bigger. I put on the size 18's and started to bawl. I opened the door to get the seal of approval from Dee, and I think she was shocked to see me with tears streaming down my face, my entire body shuddering as I sobbed. She came in and gave me hug, reminded me that I just had a baby, it's not forever, and to go easy on myself, that Maya wasn't even 3 months old. She hugged me while I cried and cried. Then she had to walk because Maya started crying, as she needed a change of scenery. They found a few more pairs of pants to try on, and I ended up buying 2 pairs of jeans. They fit good, and most importantly, they're not maternity! I've gone up 3 sizes since before I was pregnant. Boy, does that stink! I suppose that when Maya starts moving around, I'll run it off. I think the whole "breastfeed, and the extra weight will just fall off!" claim is a total farce. I lost 23 pounds in 2 weeks immediately after she was born. I'm assuming that was all water-weight. I have been exclusively breastfeeding now for 3 months, and I have not lost another pound. I guess sooner or later it will come off. Looks like it's going to be later.

Anyway, the family left town on Monday. It was very nice having them here. We love to have visitors. We miss everyone already, but we'll be back in Iowa in a few weeks for Will's sisters' double wedding. Speaking of which, I have to get measured for my bridesmaid dress soon. Yippee.

Does this diaper make my butt look big?

Maya is 2 1/2 months old and finally graduated into size 1 diapers (but only in Pampers because Huggies seem to run slightly bigger)! It is so funny because I remember when I was getting newborn size packages of diapers at our baby showers, people kept saying, "Don't open all the packages because they probably won't fit very long... it won't be long, she'll need the next size... she'll outgrow those really quickly, and if you haven't opened them, you can exchange them for the next size." Well, let me tell you, we bought SEVERAL packs of newborn diapers, and these size 1's look HUGE on her!! I figured it was time to go up a size when she was constantly having "blow-outs". These size 1's, or as I like to call them her "big girl diapers", seem to contain her explosive powers a little better. Who knew that so much volume could come out of such a little body?! She never ceases to amaze me on so many different levels!

We're also trying her out in her crib (a.k.a. her "big girl bed" hahaha...) for the first time tonight, so wish us luck and watch for a blog on that progress!

Date Night!

Gramma Cindy came back to see us! Yay! Mom came back to stay with us for a few nights. It's been so fun having her here. In true mother-daughter fashion, we went shopping. Every day. Yes, we're starting Maya out young, but I think it's best that she gets used to it at a young age as she has many, many, many hours (days, months... ) of shopping ahead of her. It was so much easier to shop with Mom here. She was a huge help when it came to entertaining Maya, so I could actually take my time and look at stuff. We were on a mission to find a dress for Maya to wear to Sara and Tara's weddings. We were successful, kind of. We found a cute skirt in the Carter's Pretty Blue print, and I was able to order a matching shirt off Ebay. We had a lot of fun just looking! I also had the opportunity to look for and buy a scrapbook for Maya's baby years. We did other stuff, too, like stay up and watch TV and talk, talk, talk. I love having my Mom around!

The last night she was here, we made some great plans. Will and I were going to go out on a date, and Mom and Maya were going to have a "pajama party". When Mom, Maya, and I came home from shopping (we had found an awesome toy store and consignment shop for baby and maternity clothes... score!), I fed Maya and pumped a bottle for Mom to have in case we weren't back by the time Maya needed to eat again. As soon as I was done with those things, we hit the road. Will had a gift card to The Melting Pot, so we decided to try that place out. It was very strange leaving the house without Maya or a diaper bag! I felt very empty-handed! I called Mom once on the way to the restaurant to tell her something that I forgot to mention while we were still at home. I'm sure she wasn't surprised to hear from me, and I bet she thought I would call several more times throughout the evening. I think both her and Will were shocked when I did not call back the entire night! When I talked to Mom, I could hear Maya crying in the back ground, but I wasn't surprised because I knew she was tired. I didn't worry. I knew Mom would be able to comfort her and get her to sleep in no time. I don't worry about Maya at all when she's with Mom. That's a real nice feeling.

So, Will and I went on our date. We hadn't been on a date since before Maya was born, and it was really nice to get out, just the two of us. The Melting Pot was delicious! We went all out and bought a full meal which included an appetizer, salad, entree, and dessert. We had a spicy fiesta cheese fondue for the appetizer and the mojo style entree, which were both delicious and reminded us of our many vacations to Mexico. For dessert, we had the Flaming Turtle chocolate fondue. YUMMY! The dinner was fantastic, and it was so nice to just have time to talk uninterrupted. I didn't realize how much I had been craving "us" time until that night. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE having a family of 3 now, but it's just different when we're alone. Not better, just different.

When we returned home, Mom was burping Maya, and I quickly discovered that Mom was right when she said, "Maya sucked the bottle down, and I think she's still hungry." I settled in to feed Maya and hear about their party. It turns out that the "pajama party" quickly turned into a "slumber party", since Maya slumbered the entire time we were gone! I think Mom was a tad disappointed. She was really looking forward to some one-on-one time with Maya. Next time, I'll have to drink some caffeine before I feed and leave Maya with Mom. Then she'll probably be wired and wear Mom out! At least then they'll get to play. Poor Gramma!! She'll be getting another shot at a pajama party in September when we go back for Will's sisters' weddings. Hope she has better luck next time!

Mom, if you're reading this, WE MISS YOU!! COME BACK SOON!!

She's on the Move!!

Maya rolled over today!! I had her down on the floor for tummy time, and since she hates having her face right next to the floor, I helped her prop herself up on her forearms to give her a little elevation. Before I knew it, she tipped her head to the right and rolled halfway over. She gave herself a big push with her top leg, and over she went! After she landed on her back, she just laid there for a second. Then, her face scrunched up and turned bright red, and she started crying! I think the sudden change in position scared her, or I guess it could have been all the cheering and clapping I responded with that startled her! It was so cute! I told Will about it (of course it happened while he was in the bathroom), and after I got her calmed down, I laid her back down to try it again. I wanted to make sure it wasn't just an accident (or gravity pulling the weight of her head down and leaving her legs no choice but to follow). She did it again! And again! And in the other direction! At 2 1/2 months, that's pretty good! And, she was wearing her Iowa Hawkeyes outfit. Maybe it means she's a natural born athlete! It can only get more exciting from here!!