Liam's Birth Story...

Here are the quick stats:
Dec. 29th, 12:35am: water broke, starting labor
7:45am: Liam Parker Deaton was born! (total length of labor: 7 hrs. 10 mins.)
2 1/2 = number of hours of hard, very painful labor I endured before getting an epidural
2 = number of contractions I pushed through before he was born
Damage incurred: 2nd degree tear
Liam's weight: 9 pounds 5 ounces
Liam's length: 22 inches
Apgar score: 8 at 1 minute, 9 at 5 minutes

For those of you who want all the details, go to the bathroom, get a drink, get comfortable, and read on:

December 28th started like any other Sunday morning. I woke up still very pregnant without any signs of impending labor, so we went to church. Four days overdue, I was very uncomfortable as I sat through the service, but at very least, it was an attempt to get my mind on something other than my ever-growing belly. Plus, I thought maybe my prayers would have more impact coming from inside the church. Maybe I'd have a more direct line to God, and He would hear me better as I pleaded to Him to allow my labor to begin. I was ready to meet my son. On my way to the nursery after the service, I ran into Jill, the friend who had great success with the whole castor oil thing and had encouraged me to try it, and we talked and laughed about me STILL being pregnant. She had been wondering if I had Liam yet, and obviously the answer was "no". She wished me well and said she hoped she wouldn't see me next Sunday. No kidding! I couldn't even imagine being pregnant another week... ugh.

We picked Maya up from the nursery, took her home, and put her to bed for a nap. She plays so hard at nursery, she's always super exhausted by the time we get home. Once she was tucked in, Will and I headed out to Muskegon. Maya would be thrilled to wake up and find her Papa there to take care of her, and we were glad to have the chance to spend a little time together alone. Will dropped me off at the mall to walk around, while he went to get his hair cut. I walked and shopped. Mostly I shopped. By this point, I wasn't convinced that walking was going to do anything to jump-start my labor. Will was hopeful. I was not. He returned to the mall and we completed one lap, stopping for a few minutes to hit an after-Christmas sale. I we bought a little foam bowling set for Maya, and I was excited to get home to show her the game. Before returning home, we stopped at Buffalo Wild Wings to have lunch and at Target, Staples, and Home Depot to look for a dry-erase board. We didn't find a board we wanted, so we headed for home. When we arrived at home, we set up the bowling set for Maya. She didn't really "get it", so she would hold the ball and just knock a pin or two down. I thought she would get a kick out of rolling the ball down the hall, but I guess she's a little young for the game. When she tried to take a bite out of the foam, we knew it was time to put it away. For now, it's stashed down in the basement. Maybe next winter!

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I had a contraction every once in a while, nothing more than I've had for the last couple of weeks. After Maya was tucked into bed for the night, I began to work on getting some pictures into frames. I wanted to get some of Maya's 18 month pics up on the walls. After agonizing for a couple of hours about the exact right spots to place new pics and how to rearrange old ones, I gave up. Dad had turned "Cast Away" on, so I flopped into the recliner and settled in for a long movie. Around 12:20am-ish, hoping that I would go into labor by morning and need some extra energy, I decided to go to bed.

I started my bedtime routine, brushing my teeth, taking my vitamins, and changing into my jammies. My last stop before bed is always to drain my squished-to-a-pea-size bladder. I was about to get up from the toilet, when... oops! I leaked a little... OR did my water just break?! It was a very small gush, followed by nothing. Still I thought it was a possibility that it was my water, so I stayed put. I called out to Will (who had just laid down in bed) and said, "I think we may be going to the hospital!" I could hear him jump out of bed and say, "Why?!" I stayed on the toilet (waiting for more leaking to confirm my suspicion) and reluctantly answered, "I think my water just broke." Will asked, "You think?" Again, unsure, I answered, "Yeah, I think so. I mean, I leaked a little gush of fluid right when I was getting up from the toilet. I don't think it was pee, but it was only a little bit. I haven't leaked anything since then, so maybe it wasn't my water. I don't know..." Kicking into doctor mode, Will said that if I wasn't sure, we had to go to the hospital anyway, just to check. I thought that sounded fine, so I put a huge pad in my underwear, just in case, and got up to change my shirt. As I was walking around getting ready, I felt another gush. It was still small, but it was a gush. I told Will, "Okay! I had another gush! Now I'm sure my water broke!" It was as that moment that my adrenaline kicked in, and my whole body just felt trembly. I felt like I was freezing. It was so weird. We started rushing around a little quicker, and we made our way out to the living room to tell Dad that we would be going to the hospital. I WAS FINALLY IN LABOR!! As I stood in the hallway, right outside out basement door, I felt a HUGE gush. I told Will that I wanted to change my pad, and I started to make my way down the hall. Again, I had a huge gush of fluid. I said, "Forget it. Will, just get me a towel!" I knew that trying to keep up with the leaking fluid was a losing battle, and as we made our way to the truck, I felt another gush of fluid. My pajama pants were saturated and the fluid just ran down my legs. I threw the towel in the seat and hopped into the truck. As we pulled out of the garage, the snow fell around us. It was a beautifully peaceful night, just right for having a baby!

As we drove to the hospital, we called our parents, and I text messaged our close friends. From the time my water broke (12:35am) until we arrived at the hospital (1am), only 25 minutes had lapsed. It seems like much longer than that! Will pulled into the drive at the hospital and dropped me off at the front door. I must have been a sight... I grabbed the towel off the seat and pulled it tightly between my legs. I didn't want to soak my shoes or leak amniotic fluid all over the floor! I very awkwardly made my way to the front desk. The unit clerk smiled as she saw me approach with my very large bundle of towel between my legs. Rather than looking like I had just gotten off of a horse, I must have looked like I was trying to walk while still on a horse. I smiled, laughed, and stated the obvious as I approached her counter. "My water broke!"

At this time, I was having contractions, but they weren't very intense. I completed some paperwork and stood at the counter waiting for a nurse and room assignment. As we waited, a nurse came over with a swab and wanted to try to collect fluid from my towel to confirm that I was, in fact, leaking amniotic fluid. Mind you, we were still standing in front of the clerk's desk, in the middle of the hall, right in front of the entrance to the hospital. Does anyone else see a problem with this?! I pulled the towel down, and she squished the swab down into the saturated towel. She was unable to collect enough fluid, so they would have to repeat the test. Hopefully this time it would be behind closed doors!

I spotted a nurse hurriedly walking down the hall toward the clerk's desk, and I quickly said a prayer that she wasn't going to be my nurse. She looked young (read: not experienced, as in, has never given birth before), busy, frazzled, like she just finished taking care of a patient and was thrown my chart on her way out of her last patient's room. She looked like she didn't need a new patient at the moment. What she needed was a break. I know how it feels to be that nurse. Great. She directed me into the triage bathroom, where my concerns were quickly validated. She introduced herself (Sarah) and instructed me to get into a gown. She explained, "Take off your bra if you want because this is what you'll be in until after delivery." I had planned to put on a nursing bra for delivery, that way I would be all set for breastfeeding soon after he was born. Again, she told me that this would be my last chance to have my gown off, so do what I needed to do. WHAT?! It's a freakin' gown! It comes off! I told her that in addition to the nursing bra theory, I had also planned on using the tub for pain relief, so I would have to take the gown off anyway. I refused to back down. I was determined to own this labor and delivery experience, and I was not going to let this nurse strong arm me. If I was going to establish authority over the situation, I had to do it right then. I put the gown on over my bra and announced that I would be removing my gown once I got settled into my room. I would either be getting into the tub or changing into my nursing bra. Randomly, it was at that moment that she noticed my rubber Birkenstock shoes and asked if I was a nurse. I told her that I had practiced as an ER and PACU nurse until my daughter was born 19 months ago, and I had been home ever since. From that moment on, she was cool. For whatever reason, the dynamics totally changed. She completely let me direct my care, and we didn't have any more confrontations. It's a good dang thing because I was about 2 seconds away from requesting a new nurse! I was not about to let my nurse ruin this experience! This might be the last time I get to experience this life-altering event, and I planned to do things on my own terms.

With my bag and birthplan in hand, I followed Sarah to my room. I settled into the room a little bit. I dug my nursing bra and my swimsuit out of my bag, then I strategically placed a copy of my birth plan on top of my cord blood donation kit. As soon as Sarah returned to the room, she picked up my birth plan and the kit and began to explain the on-call doctor's standing orders. Turns out, the doctor was Dr. Karnes, the same doctor that had spent so much time with Maya during my prenatal visit. Since that visit, I had secretly hoped that he would be the one attending Liam's birth. I was stoked! He doesn't have any standard orders for his patients. For example, he doesn't require an IV, and he lets his patients eat whatever they want while they're in labor. Awesome! Since Sarah had to draw blood for my cord blood donation kit, I requested that she place my IV at the same time. She agreed, and soon, I had a saline lock in the perfect spot on my right arm (actually, the same spot I had it in with Maya). I was placed on the Toco monitor, so my nurse could observe the frequency and length of my contractions and see how Liam was reacting to them. So far, so good. He looked great!

As I finished filling out more required paperwork, my contractions started getting pretty intense. I was to the point that I had to stop what I was doing and breathe through them. My nurse informed me that if I decided I wanted an epidural, I needed to request it before I lost control because it would take the anesthesiologist about 30 minutes just to get to the hospital. I stuck the advice in the back of my mind, but I was no where near ready to consider that yet. Intense as it was getting, I could easily handle this pain. I was eager to get into the tub, so I (gasp) took off my gown and changed into my swimsuit. Will prepared the bathtub for me and assisted me into it. My contractions seemed to be coming pretty quickly, just a few minutes apart. The tub felt great, and my body was able to relax a little as I soaked in the hot water. I changed positions a couple of times because I just couldn't find a comfortable position to be in during my contractions. I had been in the tub for what seemed like quite a while when my contractions got REALLY painful. At this point, I began to moan out loud (probably much to Will's embarrassment) over and over during each contraction. It seemed like being able to hear my own voice gave me something to focus on besides the pain. The repetitive rhythm of my voice was somehow soothing to me. The contractions were coming hard and fast, every couple of minutes one would start, which didn't leave much time for rest in between. I went on like this for awhile longer, until I couldn't bear to be in the water any longer. Between contractions, Will assisted me out of the tub, dried me off, and helped me into (gasp) my nursing bra and back into my gown. I slowly made my way back to my bed.

Now you may be wondering why, if I was in so much pain, did I continue to labor without an epidural or other medication. Good question! My goal for this labor and delivery was to go as naturally as possible for as long as possible with the least amount of intervention as possible. I believe that birthing a baby is a natural process. It's what my body was built to do, and I wanted to give myself the chance to attempt this labor and delivery naturally (an experience that I was denied with my labor and delivery of Maya). Now that that's answered, let's get back to the story...

As I climbed back into bed, I quickly realized that I wouldn't be able to get comfortable. I remember saying to my nurse that every time I feel a contraction come on, I tense up and fear just washes over me. She told me that I was doing great and asked if I would like to try the birthing ball. I wanted to try anything that got me out of that bed... it was awful! The contractions were approaching the "unbearable" status. Here's my best description of the contractions: It took only seconds from the onset of the contraction for me to feel like an explosion was occurring deep in my belly. The pain throughout the contraction was like the actual explosion never stopped. It was like the moment of detonation for the entire contraction, and then about as quick as it began, it would subside, and I would be completely fine. It was crazy how quickly I would go from being totally fine to wanting to die within a couple of seconds. I never made it to the birthing ball. By the time my nurse returned with the ball, I was so paralyzed by pain and fear that I couldn't move in bed. I was lying on my side, on the edge of the bed, clutching the bed rail, and praying for the pain to stop. I decided enough was enough. I was dangerously close to losing control, so I asked my nurse to call the anesthesiologist. I was ready for my epidural. She left the room and returned a few minutes later with the resident that was covering the Birthing Center. Between contractions, I maneuvered myself to lay flat on my back, and the resident checked my cervix to see how much progress I had made during the last 2 hours of HARD labor. I was absolutely horrified and felt completely defeated when I heard the resident turn to my nurse and whisper, "She's still a 3." Just because I was in labor didn't mean I was deaf. I wanted to cry. All of that pain. All of that time. All of that and not a centimeter of progress. I was extremely frustrated. I asked if the anesthesiologist had been called, and they assured me that he was en route. Thank God. At this point, I was over the experience, and I just wanted pain relief. I wanted to be put out of my misery. I felt as though I couldn't go on a minute longer.

Will broke down and thanked me for requesting the epidural. Unbeknown to me, he had been crying for quite a while. The poor guy can't stand to see me in pain, so he was extremely relieved to know help was on the way. He wouldn't have to stand idly by and continue to watch me suffer. I have to say that I was extremely proud of him for honoring my request regarding the avoidance of pain medication. That really meant a lot to me. He knew how important it was to me to try to get through the pain and avoid the epidural, and he never faltered. He never suggested meds, and for that, I give him a lot of credit. He once told me that if he was pregnant, he would ask for the epidural in the 9th month, and he wouldn't even consider going for one minute in labor without it. Even though I know there's no way he could understand my wishes, it means the world to me that he chose to honor them. Thank you, Will, for being the support I needed to get through the painful times!

While I waited for my epidural, I had the option of IV narcotics to take the edge off of the pain. Believe me when I say that I wanted drugs, and I wanted them bad. However, I had committed to myself that I would only agree to an epidural. I felt that the risk to the baby versus the benefits for me with IV narcotics weighed heavily in favor of the baby. I didn't want to get the medication, deliver Liam within the next few hours, and have a baby without a respiratory drive just because I wanted pain relief. No, I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't sacrifice my baby's health for my own physical comfort. I would wait for my epidural. Though the pain of the contractions made me want to die, I knew they wouldn't actually kill me. I would wait.

During this time, I got up the nerve to make one last trip to the bathroom with the assistance of my wonderful nurse. I was about halfway to the bathroom when the anesthesiologist entered the room. Great timing. I was already committed to this trip to empty my bladder, so onward I trucked. I had hoped to make the trip there and back between contractions (wishful thinking). As I tried to relax, another tsunami of pain gripped my belly, and I doubled over, holding onto my nurse for dear life. I don't even remember if I ended up peeing or not. I just know that I wanted the hell out of the bathroom, so I could get my epidural. After the contraction stopped, I hustled back to bed and got into position for the procedure. The doctor didn't waste any time. I was instructed to brace myself against Will, who was standing in front of me and arch my back out toward the doctor. I would have stood on my head if I knew it would bring pain relief. God bless this doctor... he swiftly went to work, soaping up my back and describing what I would feel during the next couple of minutes. I continued having contractions throughout the procedure, and the doctor continued to work right through them. Though I could have been extremely annoyed by this, I couldn't have been more grateful. The quicker he could get that line placed, the quicker I could get some pain relief. Soon after the procedure started, it was over. I laid down on my back and attempted to relax for the first time in hours. Suddenly, another contraction started, and I was crying out in pain again. And again. And again. I swear it took forever for the medication to began working through my epidural line. The doctor stayed in the room for several minutes until it was clear that I would have adequate pain control. About 10-15 minutes after the line was placed, I was resting comfortably. I could still feel the contractions, though I perceived them as a faint tightening across my belly. I felt like pins and needles from the bottom of my rib cage to my toes, and I had total control over my legs. I had complete pain relief. It was awesome... the best epidural ever. It was about 4am, and I was exhausted. At this point, I was also shaking uncontrollably, and my nurse piled several blankets on my freezing, trembling body (a common side effect of epidural anesthesia). I shifted around until I found a comfortable position, and quickly dozed off.

My nurse woke me up about 45 minutes later, wanting to check the progress of my cervix. To my complete surprise, I was dilated to 6 cm.!! Holy smokes... 3 centimeters in about 45 pain-free minutes! I should have requested the epidural as I signed into the Birthing Center! I relished in the knowledge that I was making progress and went back to sleep. I woke up about an hour later, ate a snack, and dozed off and on for the next hour.

At 6:45am, minutes before shift change, Sarah returned one last time to check my cervix. I was dilated to 9 centimeters and completely effaced! It was almost time to push! Well, after that, it was impossible to go back to sleep, so Will and I stayed up and chatted somewhat nervously about what was to come.

7am rolled around, and Dr. Karnes came in to check on me. He asked me about my prior birth with Maya (How long was I in labor? How long did I push?), and he rechecked my cervix. Surprise! I was dilated to 10 cm, completely effaced, and at 1+ station (which meant that he had to come down the birth canal just a bit more). He asked me if I had the urge to push. I said, "No." and requested to wait a little longer to allow Liam to move down the birth canal on his own. Dr. Karnes agreed and said he'd be back soon to check on me. The excitement and anticipation of the impending birth of our son was bubbling over between Will and I! Soon, we would meet Liam!

Dr. Karnes returned about 10 minutes later. I was contracting about every minute, so he wanted to check on my progress again. I told him that I have the urge to push during some contractions but not all of them. He sat down on the edge of my bed, gloved up, placed his hand at my cervix again, and said, "Let's have you push through this next contraction and just see what happens." Okay, simple enough. As we waited for the contraction to begin, Dr. Karnes asked me questions about my last delivery... again (How long was my labor? How long did I push?). Hoping he wasn't suffering from memory loss, I chose to assume that he was refreshing his memory of my labor and delivery history. (This series of questions later became a running joke between Will and I.) I felt the contraction coming on, took a deep breath, put my chin to my chest, held onto my knees, and pushed through the count to 10. Exhale, relax for a second, and come right back... push, 2, 3, 4, 5... "good job, good job"... 10. Exhale, inhale, one more time, push, 2, 3, 4..."great push"... okay. Good job. Then Dr. Karnes uttered those 6 little words I'd been dying to hear for a couple of weeks by now. "We're going to have a baby!" Oh my gosh, really?? Liam actually crowned during my (completely painless) "practice" push! I couldn't believe it! Will exclaimed, "I saw him, Wendy! He's right there!" Here's where I have to give props to Will, my biggest and best cheerleader during delivery. He was solid and unfailing during the 2 and 1/2 hours of pushing with Maya, and he was gearing up to stand by my side for the delivery of his son. It's these moments that remind me how lucky I am to have married such a wonderful man.

At the utterance of the phrase, "We're going to have a baby," the room instantly began to change. The energy level was kicked up a notch. Additional nurses poured in and began tearing things down, setting things up, moving tables, setting up a sterile field, gowning and gloving Dr. Karnes, and setting up the baby warmer and all of its equipment. I requested a mirror to be positioned, so I could witness the birth of our son. Through Will's incessent pleading, I had refused to open my eyes and watch Maya's delivery. It was something I wanted to do, but at the time, I was in too much pain and too afraid to look. This time, there was no fear. There was no pain, and I wanted to witness this glorious moment!

Will was on my left side. Linda, my new nurse, was on my right side. Donna, the baby nurse was waiting patiently at the baby warmer, and Dr. Karnes was in position to catch Liam upon his arrival. He asked Will if he wanted to deliver his son, and Will politely declined, explaining that he was just there to be a husband and become a father again today. We waited for a contraction to begin. As I started to feel the familiar sensation of my belly tightening, I took a deep breath, put my chin to my chest, grabbed my knees, and started to push... 1, 2, 3... "great job, here he comes!"... 10! I could see Liam's head beginning to emerge! "Come right back... 1, 2, 3, 4..." I couldn't believe it! His head was out! Pause for suctioning and unwrapping the one loop of umbilical cord around his neck, and right back to pushing... 1, 2... I saw his weOnce everything was set up and in position, the room was quiet again. The lights weret, slippery body escape from my birth canal, and in that instant, I felt physical relief, like a big weight was lifted off my body (ahhhh...). There was a collective cheer erupt in the room. The time was 7:45am. I asked Will, "So, he's still a boy, right?" Both he and Dr. Karnes confirmed his sex, "Yes, it's a boy!" Dr. Karnes quickly placed Liam on my belly, and my first thought (which I think I actually said out loud) was, "Oh my gosh, he's HUGE!", followed by, "Look at his hands!" He had the biggest newborn hands I had ever seen. I felt like I had just given birth to an average 3 month old! The nurses couldn't wait to get him on the scale, and I have to admit, I was quite anxious myself! The nurses began to wipe him off as he laid on my belly. He cried very little, but the sound was a sweet symphony to my ears. Thanks to being overdue, he had very little cottage cheesy stuff or hair on his body. Aside from the pruned skin, he looked like he'd been around for awhile! He was unbelievable. Once Dr. Karnes had finished collecting my cord blood for donation, he cut the umbilical cord that had served as Liam's lifeline for the past 9 months. We were physically disconnected, and Liam was officially on his own to sustain his life. Wow, there's just something about the finality of that concept... While I'm relieved to finally meet him and hold him in my arms, I can no longer physically protect and provide for him in the same way that I have in the last 9 months. Though I know I can't stay pregnant forever, nor would I want to, for the reasons previously stated, giving birth is bitter-sweet.

Liam had "terminal meconium", which refers to the baby passing his first stool after the delivery of his head, but before his entire body is delivered. In other words, he crapped inside of my uterus. Yuck. Since Liam continued to poop everywhere, the nurses quickly placed a diaper on him as soon as the doctor cut his cord. He remained on my belly as Dr. Karnes repaired my tear and cleaned me up. Dr. Karnes freaked me out in the midst of all of this post-delivery stuff. Randomly, he asked me what my blood type is... I'm thinking, "What the...??" and answered, "A+." He didn't share any concerns, so I only started to worry a little at this point. It was a couple of minutes later that I heard him say to one of the nurses, something about "getting the OR ready". Okay, now I was completely beginning to panic. Was I bleeding out? What the heck was going on down there?? Turns out, he was talking about a patient that was scheduled for surgery or a c-section in the OR, not me. Whew! That was a few scary moments! I also delivered the placenta at this time. I wish I could know how much the placenta weighed because when I pushed that thing out, I breathed another sigh of relief. I could feel the weight of the placenta exit my body, and it felt good. The thing must have been the size of a deflated basketball. It felt huge. I guess it takes a big placenta to support a big baby!After cuddling my bouncing baby boy for a while, I finally couldn't take it anymore... I was dying to know how much this big bundle of love weighed! The nurse placed him on the scale, and I heard Will say, "Oh, wow!" He weighed 9 pounds, 5 ounces, and measured 22 inches long! No wonder I was so uncomfortable! I knew it had to be a lot because his chest and belly were just thick! He was a solid little package, not really like a newborn at all!
Shortly after being repaired, and after Liam received all of his treatments, measurements were taken, and footprints were completed, he was pretty alert and rooting around. I had a fair amount of anxiety related to my previous experience with nursing Maya, so I was a bit apprehensive to get started. It was an ideal time to attempt his first feeding, though, so I put him to my breast. With very little direction from me and with minimal effort on his part, he latched right on and began eating. He was quite the natural! Yet another wave of relief washed over my body. I feared the pain associated with breast feeding, and to my amazement, it never happened. I never once experienced pain like I did with Maya. I think we're going to have a great nursing relationship!

After all the equipment was cleared out, and the room was put back to normal, my nurse continued to monitor my uterus. She frequently pushed on my belly, with great force, to find and massage the fundus to coax the muscle to clamp down and begin to return to it's original size. After giving birth, the uterus needs to clamp down in order to control bleeding. If a uterus stays "boggy", or squishy feeling, it's likely to bleed, which can be a real problem. I noticed that every time she pushed on my belly, I could feel warm fluid gushing out of me onto the bed. After a few times of this fluid (read: blood) loss, my nurse started to get concerned. She connected another bag of fluid with Pitocin (a drug that causes uterine contraction) to my IV line and instructed me to stay in bed and tell her if I started feeling bad. I actually felt great! I could see that Will was looking a little worried about all the blood loss, too, but I assured him that I was fine. I was right... after the liter of fluid and additional Pitocin, my uterus started to clamp down and the bleed slowed down. Both Will and my nurse looked relieved. Crisis resolved.

So, that tells the story and some of the major events surrounding Liam's birth. I have to say that it was the most amazing experience of my life. I experienced the true pain of labor and tolerated it as long as I felt I could without losing control of myself. I recognized the need for pain control and accepted it without feeling like I had failed to meet my goals. I had the best epidural known to man, which, to my astonishment, relieved all of my pain associated with the contractions and provided a completely pain-free delivery. I didn't even know that was possible. I actually witnessed my son's emergence into this world... what an amazing sight. The essence of the delivery was calm, quiet, peaceful... everything I ever imagined and hoped it would be. The human body is an amazing thing. I knew that if given the chance (as in, no induction), I could have the labor and delivery I always dreamed about and had not yet experienced. The birth of Liam was a life-changing event. I feel strong. I feel confident. I did it. I'm healthy. Liam's healthy. This entire experience has been a beautiful moment in my life and in my relationship with Will, which I will never forget. Happy Birthday, Liam, and thank you for these wonderful gifts.